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法律英语 |
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| 波士顿法律第二季第五集台词Boston legal |
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作者：石家庄赵丽娜律师编辑
出处：法律顾问网·涉外www.flguwen.com
时间：2011/1/2 23:32:00 |
1
Boston Legal
Men to Boys
Season 2, Episode 5
Written by David E. Kelly
2005 David E. Kelly Productions. All Rights Reserved.
Broadcast: October 25, 2005
Transcribed by Imamess
Paul Lewiston and Denise Bauer walking in a hall at Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
Paul Lewiston: Denise? What is this? The Pitino matter is set for trial?
Denise Bauer: Tomorrow.
Paul Lewiston: Didn’t I tell you to get rid of this case two years ago?
Denise Bauer: Three, actually. I’m meeting with opposing counsel at ten. I’ll settle it.
Denise walks away. Shirley Schmidt comes up.
Shirley Schmidt: Paul. A problem.
Paul Lewiston: What’s this?
Shirley Schmidt: Lori Colson’s filed an internal complaint against us.
Paul Lewiston: A complaint about what?
Shirley Schmidt: Sexual harassment. More specifically Denny.
Denny Crane: He joins them. Heard my name.
Shirley Schmidt: Denny. Paul and I need to talk to you.
Denny Crane: Whatever it is, I’m innocent.
Shirley Schmidt: Yes. Paul’s office at eleven please. In the meantime could you please reposition your hand?
She sees Catherine Piper and leads her off to the side. Catherine! So nice to see you at large.
Catherine Piper: Well, that’s so sweet of you. You warm the cockles of my heart.He, he. If I had a cockle of
course! Ha. There’s a rumor that you’ve got one. Ha, ha.
Shirley Schmidt: How do I put this? You’re fired.
Catherine Piper: What?
Shirley Schmidt: I’m terribly sorry.
Catherine Piper: But why?
Shirley Schmidt: However willing we are to relax the rules around here we simply cannot have administrative
staff killing clients.
Catherine Piper: Does Alan know about this?
Shirley Schmidt: This is not Alan’s decision.
Catherine Piper: You can’t just fire me?
Shirley Schmidt: I just did. Please be gone by the end of business. Once again, I’m, I’m terribly sorry.
Sara Holt is in the lunch room facing a counter. Alan Shore is in the doorway studying her.
Sara Holt: Are you finished?
Alan Shore: I’m sorry I was reminded of a girl I favored when I was young. I’m Alan Shore. If you’ve paid any
attention to office gossip you’re right to avoid me.
Sara Holt: I’m just trying to save you from wasting your time.
Alan Shore: Would you have dinner with me tonight? All I’m looking for is to have dinner with a beautiful yet
anonymous woman. See myself through her eyes and pretend I’m interesting.
Catherine Piper: She comes in. Alan! I’ve been Schmidt-canned!
Denise is in a meeting with three attorneys in the conference room. Attorney Michael Eaves pushes a
piece of paper towards Denise.
Denise Bauer: $225,000? Are you serious?
Attorney Michael Eaves: You can run the numbers. It covers all damage caused by the fire to both the garage
and house. Which insurance already paid by the way.
Denise Bauer: A woman died here.
Attorney Michael Eaves: A terminal woman with less than five days to live perhaps.
Denise Bauer: Certainly the cost of a trial would exceed $225,000.
Attorney Michael Eaves: Perhaps. But the cost of a settlement could be exponentially bigger if it occasions other
to sue.
Denise Bauer: The risk of losing by verdict?
Attorney Michael Eaves: That won’t happen.
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Denise Bauer: You think I’m not ready to try this tomorrow. Is that what you think?
Attorney Michael Eaves: Denise, you’re no doubt a good lawyer. With a very diverse practice you handle stock
fraud, anti-trust, even some criminal work. The three of us? Do nothing but defense work for car manufacturers.
In fact over the last few years while you were doing other things, letting this particular file collect dust? We’ve
been handling only automobile product liability cases. Specializing in fact in the sports trucks that catch fire. Day
after day after day. It’s what we do.
Denise Bauer: Your offer of 225 is rejected. She pushes the paper back to him.
Attorney Michael Eaves: We shall see you then for opening statements.
Paul and Shirley are in a lounge. Shirley is sitting pensively. Paul is pacing.
Denny Crane: He comes in. Who’s dead?
Paul Lewiston: Nobody’s dead Denny. But we have a situation.
Shirley Schmidt: Lori Colson filed an internal complaint against you for sexual harassment.
Denny Crane: Lori Colson? Did I sleep with her?
Paul Lewiston: The complaint goes to a hostile work environment, which she believes you foster. By law we are
required to start certain procedures which involve you being questioned. We are concerned that your responses,
rather than making things better might…
Shirley Schmidt: … dig a hole to China
Paul Lewiston: It would be best to avoid an investigation altogether.
Shirley Schmidt: In order for that to happen Lori has to withdraw her complaint. And for that to happen you need
to apologize to her.
Denny Crane: What did I do?
Paul Lewiston: Last week you talked about whether Judge Brown was a virgin. You made comments about
Lori’s sex life. As far as she is concerned you broken the camel’s back.
Denny Crane: First off, I haven’t had sex with a camel since I was in the army, and the camel never complained
by the way. As for Lori, I should be the one making the complaint, she’s constantly ogling me.
Shirley Schmidt: Yes. Putting reality aside, if you do not apologize to her this is a mess. For the firm, for you.
Alan and Shirley meet in the hallway.
Shirley Schmidt: Alan!
Alan Shore: Can you tell me Shirley what possibly occasioned you to go behind my back and fire my assistant?
Shirley Schmidt: She needed to be fired. I decided to spare you the dirty work. Alan! She went to the police to
turn in a client who she subsequently murdered. If we’re to maintain any integrity as a law firm…
Alan Shore: Why is it so important to everybody? Maintaining integrity?
Shirley Schmidt: Alan!
Alan Shore: You could have at least told me first before summarily…
Shirley Schmidt: It would have made you complacent. This way she can hate me in perpetuity while continuing
to cherish you.
Alan Shore: Yes. Well, don’t be surprised if one day I go behind your back Shirley.
Shirley Schmidt: You’ll be sure to send me flowers first.
Denise and Jose Pitino in a meeting room.
Jose Pitino: 225? That’s all?
Denise Bauer: I’m sorry I thought I’d be able to move them.
Jose Pitino: You tell them to forget it.
Denise Bauer: Jose. You were already compensated for damages to the house.
Jose Pitino: The fire killed my wife.
Denise Bauer: It probably only robbed her of a week. They have experts who will testify that since she died in
her sleep the smoke inhalation may have actually spared her pain and suffering. Tell me what you’re thinking.
Jose Pitino: I’m angry. For the last three years I call to ask, “How is the case going?” I can never even get you
on the phone. I get some assistant saying, “It’s progressing.” Nothing’s been done.
Denise Bauer: The case was fully developed and ready to go to trial three years ago. There wasn’t much to do
other than push for a trial date and pursue a settlement.
Jose Pitino: When you took this case you cared. You no longer care and I’m angry.
Denise Bauer: I assure you Jose, I still care.
Jose Pitino: I don’t wanna settle for 225.
Denise Bauer: Then we won’t settle.
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Denny Crane: Lori. Shirley and Paul have brought to my attention your discomfort with my banter.
Lori Colson: It’s crossed the line of banter, Denny.
Denny Crane: Huh. Well. As I get older I probably tend to be more boastful about sex because, well… uhm… I
don’t perform… uh… How you learned about me and the camel I have no idea. But the truth is I’m an insecure
man sexually. Now, can we speak about you?
Lori Colson: Okay.
Denny Crane: I’ve often found that it’s the chubby girls who offend most easily. I don’t know why because I’m
not a psychiatrist. For what it’s worth I like chubby girls, I enjoy chubby sex. What I’m trying to say is if this is a
lonely chubbits cry for help. I’m here for you Lori. So. We could…
Denise walks up to Garrett Wells in the hallway.
Denise Bauer: Garrett! Free this evening?
Garrett Wells: What have you got in mind?
Denise Bauer: Document production. Product design records. We’ve been through them once. But, you never
know. Review the case file, I’ll tell you everything you need to look for, then you need to go across town to the
defendant’s law firm?
Garrett Wells: Super.
Alan and Sara, in a restaurant, drinking wine.
Alan Shore: Sara, I see you’re a lover of fine wine.
Sara Holt: Not really. I just picked the most expensive. I figured, whatever it is you have in mind here? You
should pay for it.
Alan Shore: When I pay for it it’s usually cheap and tawdry.
Waiter: He comes up. All set to hear about our specials?
Alan Shore: Please!
Waiter: First. Which I really recommend. It’s great. We have an incredible North Atlantic salmon. Its farm raised,
just got it in today. The chef prepared…
Alan Shore: Now would these be the Atlantic salmon raised in pens in the Pacific Ocean? The ones who
periodically escape…
Waiter: Well I can assure you the ones we’re serving didn’t escape. Ha, ha, ha.
Alan Shore: He chuckles. That’s very funny. Tell me. Do people here order the farm salmon?
Waiter: It’s actually our most popular dish tonight.
Alan Shore: I see. He gets up. Good evening diners! Forgive me, but instead of grace I typically begin my
meals with public service announcement. I just thought you’d like to know by ordering or buying farmed salmon
you may be helping to wipe out the wild, or rather, real salmon stocks.
Maitre d’: Sir?
Customer: That’s not true.
Maitre d’: You’re upsetting the patrons.
Customer: Sit down.
Alan Shore: I apologize. Perhaps I should be more entertaining then. Folks we got trouble. Right here I say
trouble, right here in River City.
Sara Holt: Mr Shore?
Alan Shore: You got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets on the table. Pockets that mark the difference
between the gentleman and a bomb with a capital B, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for pool.
Sara Holt: Check please.
Alan Shore: We need to pool our resources and stop the fish farms. It doesn’t even taste like real salmon
because it’s not… caught… which fish should be.
Jose and Denise walking in the hallway at Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
Jose Pitino: How do we not go over my testimony?
Denise Bauer: If we rehearse Jose, there’s a chance that your testimony will come off as rehearsed.
Jose Pitino: But shouldn’t I have some idea of what you plan to ask?
Denise Bauer: No. Our case, pretty much our whole case is your emotion, I want your testimony to be as raw as
possible. So, go home. Watch a movie. Don’t think about things and I’ll see you tomorrow at the courthouse.
Jose Pitino: Okay. He leaves.
Denny Crane: He walks up. Everything okay?
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Denise Bauer: Six years ago Denny, you threw me a tiny little case to cut my teeth on. Since then I have moved
on to much bigger and more lucrative matters. Well? That tiny little case I’ve neglected comes up for trial
tomorrow. I just hope I’m ready.
Denny Crane: Hum. Hug?
Garrett and Cassie walk into the file room at McKennely Fields.
Cassie: Boxes. Photocopier. Knock yourself out.
Garrett Wells: Thanks.
Cassie: She looks up from the book she’s reading. I monitor to make sure you don’t steal originals.
Garrett Wells: They assigned you to sit in here and watch me?
Cassie: No I volunteer. Why go out with friends when I can sit and observer first year associates do tedious
grunt work?
Garrett Wells: Are you a lawyer here?
Cassie: If I was a lawyer, do you think I’d be doing this? I’m a paralegal. Even lower than you in the grunt meter.
Garrett Wells: You got a name?
Cassie: Yep.
Sara and Alan walking in the hallway at Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
Sara Holt: I hope as you viewed yourself through my beautiful yet anonymous eyes that you saw what
everybody else in the restaurant saw which was a total nut job!
Brad Chase: He walks up. What’s going on?
Sara Holt: He broke into a song from The Music Man over a fish!
Alan walks away.
Brad Chase: While you’re here there are six associates in the conference room helping Denise prep for her trial.
Go make it seven.
Sara Holt: Now? It’s after ten o’clock.
Brad Chase: You can tell time, that’s great. You’re gonna be reviewing opening and closing arguments given by
opposing counsel over the last ten years. Now look in particular for his pet phrases, folksy stories, anecdotes,
whatever he uses to charm juries. Now we’re a team here, whatever Denise needs. And thanks for coming back
in. You’re a trooper.
Sara Holt: I’m a trooper?
Garrett and Cassie in the file room at McKennely Fields.
Garrett Wells: I wouldn’t suppose I could get a beer around here?
Cassie: Nope.
Garrett Wells: Maybe since we’ve hit it off so well you and I could one together after I’m done?
Cassie: I don’t date.
Garrett Wells: You don’t date? You have a boyfriend?
Cassie: Nope.
Garrett Wells: May I ask? Don’t you get lonely?
Cassie: I don’t date, because all that ever comes of it is that I get to know the guy, maybe even like the guy, only
then to be disappointed in bed. So I no longer bother.
Garrett Wells: Oh. Well. If the bed part is important, don’t you miss that?
Cassie: I screw. I just don’t date.
Garrett Wells: Okay. Did they like tell you to say that to distract me from the files?
Cassie: Take off your pants.
Garrett Wells: What?
Cassie: Obviously you wanna have sex. I wanna see you first.
Garrett Wells: I’m not gonna let you inspect me.
Cassie: Fine.
Garrett Wells: He drops his pants and lifts his shirt. Okay.
Denny and Alan on the balconyat Crane, Poole and Schmidt having a cigar and a drink.
Denny Crane: Did you have intensions with this girl?
Alan Shore: I really didn’t. I just wanted to have a nice dinner with polite conversation. The kind of thing Tara
accused me of being utterly incapable of.
Denny Crane: Here’s a tip my friend. Never, ever talk about anything to do with the environment. It’s boring.
Makes you boring. Second, it’s political. You gotta figure half the people are against you.
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Alan Shore: Half the people are against the environment?
Denny Crane: And third, when you go out with a young girl like Sara, you have only one thing to offer, money.
She can find younger, better looking guys, better lovers, guys with more interests in common. What you have is
power. I actually begin my dates by putting cash right on the table.
Alan Shore: And that works?
Denny Crane: With the hookers?
There’s a knock on the door. Shirley comes in.
Shirley Schmidt: Sorry to interrupt. I just have one quick little question. Did you tell Lori you liked cubby sex?
Denny Crane: I meant it as a compliment. Shirley stares speechless, then leaves. Alan just stares. What?
Garrett and Cassie are having sex in the file room at McKennley Fields. She looks up and sees someone
at the door watching them.
Carrie: Oh God!
Brad, Sara, Denise and others are in the conference room at Crane, Poole and Schmidt watching a big
screen.
Attorney Michael Eaves: First of all nobody disputes that a terrible tragedy has occurred. And if ever during the
course of this trial we come across as trying to trivialize the plaintiff’s pain? Well let me apologize for that right
now. The suffering is a given and we all wish we could bring Kevin Parkinson back. But lawsuits unfortunately
do not do that. Lawsuits are about money.
Brad Chase: Okay. That’s his theme in every single opening statement. He set them up to detach themselves
from their emotions and he’s very good at it.
Denise Bauer: Where’d you get this tape?
Brad Chase: He had a trial in March; they allowed cameras in the courtroom. Watch this.
Attorney Michael Eaves: You’re human being. You don’t have to deny your feelings or compassion; just don’t let
yourself as jurors be governed by them.
Denise walks into the lounge at Crane, Poole and Schmidt, lies down on a couch, shakes her shoes off
and snuggles up to a cushion. There’s a knock on the door. She’s gasps and sits up.
Garrett Wells: Listen! I poured over most of the design records. I didn’t find anything new.
Denise Bauer: Uh. Okay. Thank you. Garrett doesn’t leave. Was there something else?
Garrett Wells: Well there was an incident which one of the senior partners is calling Lewiston about it. I felt I
should report it to you.
He hands her a paper. She reads it.
Denise Bauer: You had sex tonight with one of their paralegals?
Garrett Well: Yes. It had not bearing on the quality of my work. And, of course, I didn’t reveal anything
privileged.
Denise Bauer: You had sex with her where?
Garrett Wells: Uhm. In the file room.
Denise Bauer: Where do you think you are Garrett?! Do you think you’re still in college?!
Garrett Wells: No Ma’m.
Denise Bauer: Call me Ma’m again and you are fired. Get out. I do not have time to deal with this.
Garrett Wells: Oh. Not that this is relevant but while I may have casual sex outside of a relationship. When I’m
involved with someone I’m a completely faithful person.
Denise Bauer: Garrett get out.
Meridith Waters and Lori in an office.
Lori Colson: Look I actually like Denny, and the truth is I can tolerate most of his nonsense. But whereas five
years ago it was flirtatious now it’s lascivious. And with Alan Shore suddenly at his side…
Meridith Waters: What’s this got to do with Alan Shore?
Lori Colson: Hmm. Alan Shore sexually objectifies every woman he meets. And I mean every woman. Ms
Waters aggressively tears the top sheet off of her writing tablet and starts writing on the next sheet. At
least with him you can say he’s an equal opportunity offender.
Meridith Waters: But you haven’t filed a complaint against Alan Shore?
Lori Colson: Umm. You know I probably should. But I don’t want to give him the satisfaction. More importantly,
he’s not the senior partner. Denny Crane is. By the way? After I complained? Denny Crane attributed my protest
to the wanton cry of a lonely chubbit.
6
Denise, Sara and Dr Joshua Forbes in an office.
Denise Bauer: Doctor. If you say that she died peacefully in her sleep…
Dr Joshua Forbes: I said possibly peacefully.
Denise Bauer: Even possibly. You cannot get on the stand and give that testimony.
Dr Joshua Forbes: You asked me to review the autopsy report.
Denise Bauer: I hired you as an expert witness to testify for the plaintiff at $7500 dollars a day.
Dr Joshua Forbes: My time may be for sale, Counsel. My findings are not.
Denise Bauer: You listen to me. You are retired as a doctor. You make your living and an expert as a plaintiff’s
expert. You rely on firms such as this to refer you.
Sara Holt: Denise?
Denise Bauer: Second chairing does not involve speaking.
Dr Joshua Forbes: You’re suborning perjury.
Denise Bauer: I am not asking you to lie. I am encouraging you to interpret your findings in a way that…
Dr Joshua Forbes: You mean tailor them?
Denise Bauer: She died in a fire for God sake’s! You’re saying she didn’t suffer?
Dr Joshua Forbes: She may have suffered. But she may have died without ever waking up.
Denise Bauer: I do not want to hear that word, ‘peacefully’. You can say, “Maybe she died in her sleep.” But you
have no medical basis to say that she died peacefully. I do not want to hear that word.
Paul, Shirley and Garrett in an office.
Garrett Wells: We just had ah, excellent chemistry. Look, I promise you I never compromised the case or the
firm. It was a personal, uhm, matter.
Shirley Schmidt: You don’t think you compromised the firm Mr Wells? You are an associate at Crane, Poole and
Schmidt. Your behavior personal or otherwise is a reflection on Crane, Poole and Schmidt. I’m Schmidt!!!
Garrett Wells: I exercised extremely poor judgment and all I can say is, “It will never, ever happen again.”
Shirley Schmidt: You can consider yourself on serious probation.
Garrett Wells: Yes sir. Ah, ah, Ma’m.
Shirley Schmidt: You may leave. And if I ever hear of your belt buckle being so much as loose! You will be
discharged.
Garrett Wells: Yes Ma’m.
Denise and Sara in the ladies’ room.
Sara Holt: Are you okay?
Denise Bauer: I’m sorry. The truth is I’m angry at myself, and I’m venting. I do that.
Sara Holt: It did sound a little like you were suborning perjury.
Denise Bauer: Dr. Forbes is as truthful as they come. I was just reminding him, perhaps a bit too forcefully, that
we need him to be an advocate.
Alan Shore: Sara! Hello. It’s good to see you again.
Denise Bauer: Alan? This is the ladies’ room.
Alan Shore: Yes. And such as it is I’ll be brief. I just want to apologize for last night. The thing is with salmon my
mind goes immediately to spawning. And to think that these fish farms could… What I’m trying to say is I’d like
the chance to remake myself once again in your eyes. Shirley comes out of a stall. Shirley?
Shirley Schmidt: Please leave the ladies’ room Alan.
Alan Shore: Yes. Sara? Denise?
Shirley Schmidt: First you. What’s with the mood?
Denise Bauer: Wrongful death case. I thought we’d settle. We’re going to trial. My damages.
Shirley Schmidt: This is the Pitino case?
Denise Bauer: The woman was terminally ill. My expert says, “She possibly didn’t even suffer.” Is the jury gonna
care that her life was shortened by a few days? Pain-ridden days at that?
Shirley Schmidt: Denise you can never count on people to care about the problems of others. They will
however, always deeply invest in their own.
Denise Bauer: Got it.
Sara Holt: What? I missed something. What?
Shirley Schmidt: And you. What’s Alan Shore up to?
Sara Holt: Evidently he wants to spawn.
Shirley Schmidt: Ah. Well! We have a systemic problem at this firm don’t we?
Denise Bauer: Lori was meeting with Meridith Waters today.
Shirley Schmidt: Blinky?
7
Sara Holt: Who’s Blinky.
Denise Bauer: She’s who you hire when you’re suing for sexual harassment.
Shirley Schmidt: Blinky was here?
Cassie walks up to Garrett in the outer office.
Cassie: Garrett?
Garrett Wells: What are you doing here?
Cassie: I missed you. She kisses him.
Garrett Wells: Cassie, I am in serious trouble because of what happened.
Cassie: Oh. Come on. That’s why the sex was so good Garrett. Cause you were breaking rules. You weren’t
just screwing me. You were screwing this whole establishment. That…
Garrett Wells: Cassie! You shouldn’t be here. Paul Lewiston looks at Garrett from a distance. You really
need to go now!
Cassie: Okay. Just give me quick tour. I wanna see where you work.
Garrett Wells: I don’t have time.
Cassie: Then just show me your file room.
Garrett Wells: Cassie I could lose my job. Maybe I already have.
Cassie: Really? Garrett nods his head. Then how about we just do it right here in front of everybody, and you
can go out in style.
Garrett Wells: You need to go. Paul looks over again.
Cassie: I’m not leaving Garrett unless you promise to screw my brains out tonight.
Garrett Wells: Okay.
Cassie Say it. I wanna hear you say it.
Garrett sees Paul looking over again. Garrett pulls Cassie away.
Shirley and Denny in an office.
Shirley Schmidt: Denny, look at me. I adore you. And please don’t interpet that as meaning…
Denny Crane: You want me.
Shirley Schmidt: … I want you. I’m not going to explain to you all the laws regarding sexual harassment. But the
only way to avoid a train wreck where you become the victim, is for Lori to call this off.
Denny Crane: I apologized. I said…
Shirley Schmidt: You need to try harder. One of the reasons I came back here Denny, you make me laugh. But
this isn’t funny.
She leaves.
In Judge Stephen Bickel’s courtroom.
Judge Stephen Bickel: Alright we’ll begin with opening statements starting with the plaintiff.
Denise Bauer: She gets up. Good morning. My name is Denise Bauer. I along with Sara Holt will be
representing the plaintiff, Hose Pitino, who’s wife Elena died in a fire that started in their garage when their
pickup truck, manufactured and sold by the defendant, suddenly burst into flames. The truck was not running at
the time. In fact, it had not been driven all night. Let me begin by saying that a terrible human tragedy has
occurred here. And of course nothing that happens in this courtroom will bring Elena Pitino back. The lawyers
at the opposing counsels’ table look as each other. Lawsuits you see are ultimately about money. Putting a
dollar figure on suffering. Admittedly there is some question as to how much Elena even suffered in the fire. Also
admittedly Elena was in the final stages of ovarian cancer. She had come home from the hospital, in fact that
very day, basically to die. You may ask yourselves, “What damages did she really endure?” Well, you will hear
from Hose Pitino and what you will hear is that she had a day, and another day coming after that, and another
one after that. She had in fact six or seven days to be at home with her family. She didn’t get those days. She
never got that last opportunity to sit with her grandchildren. Hose was never able his wife of thirty-seven years in
his arms. Hold her in his arms and uhm… If any of you have spent the final days with a loved one dying of
cancer or another disease you know those moments are the most precious. Hose and Elena Pitino had those
days coming. They didn’t get them. You can’t bring Elena Pitino back. But you are in a position to help save
others. Because lawsuits, in addition to money, are about allocating burden. Who is best able to prevent this
tragedy from happening again? Well you might be inclined to think, “This is just a freak accident.” But in fact this
is a much bigger problem. This is a very popular sports truck made by a major manufacturer of sport trucks. And
they’re catching fire! The defendant has recently recalled almost a million of their vehicles because of this
malfunction. So you see? This is potentially your problem. How do you motivate a corporate conglomerate to fix
a defect? You make it too expensive for them not to. At the conclusion of this trial, when it finally comes down to
8
a dollar amount I’ll be asking you to be legislators and come back with a number that says to the defendant and
all car manufacturers, “Make your vehicles safe.” For your sake. For your daughters. For your grandsons. And
I’ll ask you to be human beings. The conscience of a passionate society and return with a verdict that somehow
reflects everything that was taken from Elena Pitino, her family and most of all her high school sweetheart.
Denise comes into the conference room at Crane, Poole and Schmidt. Mr Pitino and Sara are sitting
around a table.
Denise Bauer: They just got off the elevator. I don’t care what the offer is, nobody reacts. Let me do the talking.
All of it.
Jose Pitino: Must be a much bigger offer if they expect…
Denise Bauer: Let’s just see. Once again nobody speaks.
Attorney Michael Eaves and two other attorneys come in.
Attorney Michael Eaves: Denise.
Denise Bauer: Welcome back.
Attorney Michael Eaves: Mr Pitino. Ms Holt.
Denise Bauer: It’s okay to say, “Hello.”
Sara Holt: Hi.
Denise Bauer: We’re due back in court at four unless we settle this. Do you have a number?
Attorney Michael Eaves: We do. Let me preface by saying that the client is making this offer against my advice. I
feel it is far too generous.
Denise Bauer: Of course. What is it?
Sara Holt: She sees that it’s an offer of 1.4 million dollars. Oh my God. Too low. Too low.
Denise Bauer: What about punitives?
Attorney Michael Eaves: That’s everything Denise. You either take it or we go back.
Denise Bauer: She shows Mr Pitino the offer; she turns to him and whispers. I think there’s more.
Jose Pitino: This is good Denise.
Denise Bauer: Are you sure?
Jose Pitino: Yes.
Denise Bauer: Okay. She turns to the table. Well. Back to court we go.
Attorney Michael Eaves: You can’t be serious.
Denise Bauer: Our jury research consultant says we should get something with a two. I trust them. Let’s go.
Attorney Michael Eaves: One, seven. That’s as high as I’m authorized.
Denise Bauer: Payable now?
Attorney Michael Eaves: All of it.
Denise Bauer: Done.
Attorney Michael Eaves: No admission.
Denise Bauer: Check by end of business tomorrow?
Attorney Michael Eaves: Done.
Denise Bauer: You’ll draft?
Attorney Michael Eaves: Yes. Congratulations Mr Pitino, and ah, let me say personally, I’m very sorry for your
loss.
The three attorneys leave. Everyone is speechless for a moment.
Jose Pitino: I don’t know what to say.
Denise Bauer: Jose. I just want you to know I would have never let the one, four go.
Jose Pitino: I… He coughs. I think I need to go to the bathroom. He walks to the door and turns. It’s just I
don’t wanna cry in front of you. So, that’s why I’m going… He starts to cry. Thank you Denise. He leaves.
Denise Bauer: If you ever wanna join my weekly poker game, you are more than invited.
Sara Holt: Can I just say that…
Denise Bauer: You have other work to do?
Sara Holt: Yes.
Denise Bauer: Go do it please. Sara leaves. Denise plops down in a chair and composes herself. She
sighs shakely.
Garrett and Cassie are having sex.
Garrett Wells: Cassie! Look, it doesn’t feel right!
Cassie: Okay. I love you! Better?
Garrett Wells: This feels angry. What’s wrong?
Cassie: There’s nothing wrong with me! What’s wrong with you? Just…
9
Garrett Wells: I’m done. He pushes her off to the side and sits up. I don’t know what’s goin’ on but… look…
let’s just uh…
Cassie: They killed my brother.
Garrett Wells: Excuse me?
Cassie: My, my little brother. He’s dead. Last week in Bagdad he was guarding some stupid truck and
somebody blew it up. He was only eighteen! They, they killed him. She’s crying. He’s my baby brother and he’s
not coming home. Garrett tries to comfort her, she rejects him. Just get off me. Can I get them for that? I
wanna get them. Can I get them?
Denny and Lori in an office at Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
Denny Crane: The thing about an apology is it may make you a bigger man but the experience of saying it
makes you feel very small. I’m sorry. I really am.
Lori Colson: Why did you call me chubby?
Denny Crane: I didn’t mean anything by it.
Lori Colson: Well it hurt.
Denny Crane: Well! See! What I don’t get. You see you know how much I care about you. Admire you even.
Lori Colson: I suppose I’m not feeling that. I hesitate to admit this but when I was seven years old I was a fatty.
During my parent’s divorce my mother had a lawyer, she was thin, smart, secure, confident in mind and body
and I said to myself, “That what I’m gonna be when I grow up.” And I did grow up to be her. Or so I thought.
Shirley is eavesdropping. I haven’t been feeling very secure lately, Denny. Either in mind or body. My skin has
become increasingly thin with all the sexual banter in the office. I’ve been feeling marginalized as an attorney.
Maybe it’s because this is such a boy’s club? I don’t know, but, I’m struggling here Denny.
Alan is in his office, Shirley comes in.
Alan Shore: I’ll admin to being bad only if you discipline me.
Shirley Schmidt: I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to hound first-year associates.
Alan Shore: I don’t hound first-year associates. I tickle them. As for Sara Holt? I barely touched her.
Shirley Schmidt: My concern isn’t so much for Sara as it is you. It makes you look sad. Even pathetic. What is it
about young women? Is it simply a matter of improving blood flow?
Alan Shore: I’m not so much attracted to younger women. It’s more the idea that they could be attracted to me.
You know you women have it lucky. As you age you only get more beautiful. Men? We get fat and less
desirable.
Shirley Schmidt: You and Denny need to find other ways to have fun than being lecherous with junior
associates.
Alan walks out to Denny on the balcony.
Alan Shore: Got the cigar in the ear again.
Denny Crane: Need to amuse myself in way I don’t get sued.
Alan Shore: Lori Colson evidently met with Blinky Waters, you may in fact get sued. Shirley says we need to
behave better.
Denny Crane: If she really knew us deep down, she’d realize we behave pretty damn well.
Alan Shore: I miss Tara. Not that she was… I don’t like having dinner alone. Sleeping alone.
Denny Crane: Having sex alone.
Alan Shore: Do you think it’s pathetic to…? Uhm. Should we be married and sensible and go home to do
whatever men do at home?
Denny Crane: Well I have nothing against marriage. I’ve done it five times. But here’s the thing about wives,
they don’t let you play with your friends. I mean I couldn’t be standing outside here every night on this balcony
if… I’ll take a friend over a wife every time.
Alan Shore: Shouldn’t a wife be your best friend? You know Ralph Waldo Emerson said he reckoned a friend to
be the masterpiece of nature. I’m not sure I truly understood that before I met you, Denny.
Denny Crane: I’m not having sex with you.
Alan Shore: Just the same.
Denny Crane: Lori really might sue?
Alan Shore: She met with Blinky.
The end
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